That stuck feeling, releasing all different variants of the fear-mongering “ick” feeling along with its stupid little friends like anxiety, depression, and downright mental claustrophobia. All of whom we try too often to dismiss with as much effort as shooing away a fly.
How often is it that we’re the one on our way to sanity in these moments in time? They don’t have to hold as much power as we offer. Yes, it’s optional. Yes, it’s easier to spout than to execute.
Still, who knew? Not me, not as often as I would like anyway. Too often, I struggle to catch it even when I’m staring that moment in its whole damn face! These moments must be why my sweet momma taught me to use terms such as “experienced” or “matured” rather than “old” or “elderly.” She isn’t wrong because I tend to feel more “experienced” every day. Thank you to my dear firefly of a mother.
This feeling of stuck-ness is one that is all too familiar, but each time it approaches, opportunity approaches right beside it. The oh-so-famous moment of pause often lends much to this scenario as it works to prevent the damn incessant mouse wheels of neurosis from popping the fuck off their mounts. Unquestionably, a mess in of itself, and while it is undoubtedly deserving of its spotlight, this is not that time as it requires much more coffee and frosting (not in that order, unless you dig that sort of magic). The moment of pause is set in place to allow for time to ponder fancy things such as, what the hell does this even mean? Am I in any real danger? Is this worth my “freak-out” energy? Where does my control lie? Is this worth trying to fix, or can I let it work itself out? Who does this directly affect? Whose business is this? Whose pants are these? Will I ever really be able to throw my boobs over my shoulder? Errm, but not like a continental soldier or, was it ears…? Can’t be; I can’t see anyone throwing their ears anywhere and have it be exciting. Not to mention, they’re already halfway over my shoulder anyway…. wait…. what were we talking about again…? The moment of pause and the stuck feeling, Yes… Brilliant!! The moment of hesitation holds the majority of our options and allows us to freely and rationally take our pick.
I do loathe the mental claustrophobia-inducing stuck feels. While my instinct is to panic and run as fast as I can in the other direction, the option to remain calm is always staring me right between the eyes… to be imperfectly Frank. You can be perfectly or imperfectly anyone you wish; it’s staring us all right in the face. How it would serve us so beautifully well to be a good host and throw our arms around our dear pause and lay a big smooch on it, maybe even offer for it to stay for a while.
DaisySpeak 